This is Killian Drake Harding. Considered a "Miracle Baby," Killian was born, stillborn, on September 19, 2004, to devoted mommy, Keena Harding. Here are Keena's words about her little angel: "My future was set and full of promises, and then in one day my entire life was forever changed by the Best and Worst moment of my life. From my warm, loving womb my Killian was given to me, all 9 pounds of him, beautiful & so very perfect, but with no life in him. I remember thinking hes gonna cry, but that moment never happened, at least not in this life! I will dedicate my life to bringing meaning from His life and his death! The meaning of my Killians name is "to fight". www.killianskorner.memory-of.com
I found love in your womb, I was happy and warm I heard your voice, I heard you sing I heard your heart beating for me, and I loved you! I kicked and squirmed and sucked my thumb, I had hiccups and they made you laugh. I knew all the plans you had for me, and I loved you! When I lived with you, I grew and grew into a beautiful, healthy baby. I waited to see you, you named me Killian! I heard you calling my name, and I loved you! Mommy, God loved me too, he said I was perfect and pure. Together with Daddy and you, God created me and asked me to come home. I can be your light, your hope, your strength, I will always love you! Thank you, Mommy, for my life. Love Killian.
*(Thank you Jan)*
This site is designed to honor the lives of all stillborn angels. Whether your life has been tragically altered by personal loss, or you simply wish to help be a beacon of light in the darkness, the Library of Life would like to invite you to light a candle, post a picture of your precious little loved one, or leave your condolences and messages of support and hope to those who have lost their littlest angels. We believe that in the presence of light, there can be no darkness.
What is "stillbirth"? Stillbirth is defined as the intrauterine death and subsequent delivery of a developing infant that occurs beyond 20 completed weeks of gestation. (A loss prior to 20 weeks is termed a miscarriage or "pregnancy loss".) Top
2) What is S.A.D.S.? SADS is an acronym for "Sudden Antenatal Death Syndrome" a clinical term for "stillbirth". Similar sounding to "Sudden Infant Death Syndrome" SADS claims over 10 times as many babies' every year as does SIDS. Top
3) How common is stillbirth? An estimated 26,000 SADS deaths occur annually in the U. S., many of them at or near full term. Stated another way, 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby. Despite advances in so many areas of obstetrics, the incidence of stillbirths in many states has been rising in over the past decade.
4) What causes stillbirth? Data collection on stillbirth is often inconsistent from state to state, however, it is believed that 1 in 3 stillbirths are caused by cord accidents, infections, genetic anomalies, maternal diabetes, and placental failures of varying kinds. Two-thirds of stillborn babies, including many that undergo a post-mortem evaluation, are diagnosed as having died for "undetermined or unknown" reasons. It is not uncommon that autopsies fail to reveal the cause or causes of these mysterious deaths!
5) Are stillbirths predictable? High-risk pregnancies predisposed to intrauterine death or pre-term birth can be identified in cases where congenital anomalies or cord entanglements are the cause. Stillbirths that occur at or near full term are often only discovered during a late prenatal exam, or in some cases during labor.
6) Are stillbirths preventable? Stillbirths are as random as raindrops, occurring for no apparent cause even in the case of mothers who lead a healthy lifestyle during pregnancy. Most late and full term stillborn babies are born to mothers who experienced no problems with their pregnancy, who were healthy, and who led substance-free lifestyles. Rarely is a stillbirth caused by something the mother did. Until better data is available, and until autopsies are routinely offered to all stillbirth families, the causes, and thus, any new risk reduction measures, will continue to elude doctors.
7) Does a tendency to stillbirths run in families? There is no evidence to show stillbirth is an inherited condition. However, since the occurrence of stillbirth is so high in the general population - 1 in every 115 deliveries is a "still" baby - it is not unusual for several related women in a family to have experienced stillbirths.
8) Is a woman who experiences a stillbirth at risk of future stillbirths? All women who conceive are at risk of experiencing stillbirth. In this sense it can be said stillbirth is "an equal opportunity destroyer of dreams." But the record shows that about 97% of the time, subsequent pregnancies result in healthy, live babies.
9) How is a stillborn baby delivered? Mothers of stillborn babies must undergo the same physiological processes, as do live birth mothers. The preferred method is vaginal delivery. Even under ideal conditions, a caesarean section is a high-risk procedure for the mother and is only used when the baby would be at risk during a vaginal birth. In the case of a stillborn, that risk is no longer a consideration and thus the health and safety of the mother is paramount.
10) Can a mother have time with her stillborn baby after delivery? She absolutely can and we encourage it! Most hospitals will bathe and dress her baby and then encourage not just the mother, but also the father and other family members present at the birth to hold and caress the baby. Likewise, surviving siblings should have a chance to meet and say goodbye to their newborn brother or sister, too. Mothers who declined this chance to bond with their baby have invariably told us that they regretted the decision they made at the time. Their baby has been a part of their family life for almost a year and the need to say goodbye is very real.
11) What about taking pictures? For many families, pictures taken holding their baby are later cherished as a memento of a sad, but significant, time in their life. Even taking photos with siblings and family members holding the baby is helpful to most families. Some may think it sounds ghoulish to photograph the baby but there will be no other chance than now. Other family members who die leave behind photos and so too should our babies. Hospitals routinely take photos and hold them until asked for them by the family. Consider a close up photo of your baby's hand in yours as a beautiful memento that can be comfortably shared with family and friends.
12) Can a stillborn baby be an organ donor? In some cases, near or full term stillborn babies can be organ (heart valve) or tissue donors. Parents who permit their baby to be a donor often draw comfort from the thought that a part of their baby might live on. Donation is also the only hope for life for other parents with a critically ill infant. Most hospitals are required by law to request donations. Rather than being insensitive they are merely trying to assist the living. For information search "Donor Network" + the name of your state on the web.
13) Should an autopsy be performed? Personal and cultural values hold sway here, however, from a medical view it is essential to determine why a baby died, especially in the case where a couple may have future pregnancies. Unfortunately, only about one-third of all stillbirths can be linked to a specific cause, even after an autopsy. More research is needed into the cause or causes of stillbirths and having autopsy results available can help doctors searching for answers.
14) Will parents receive a birth certificate for their baby? Until recently the answer was no. Then in 2001 Arizona became the first state to issue a Certificate of Birth Resulting in Stillbirth. Enacted into law during the 2001 Session at the behest of The MISS Foundation, other states are considering this change. The National Stillbirth Society has joined MISS in promoting state-by-state adoption of this landmark legislation. (Utah and Indiana now have such a law too.)
15) Is it customary to have a funeral for a stillborn baby? Yes, in fact state laws assign parents responsibility for "disposition" of their stillborn child's remains, either by burial or cremation. (Some states permit mothers who experience a miscarriage to bury the fetus.)
16) Where can one find support groups? Your doctor and hospital grief counselor will be familiar with resources. The Internet is also an excellent source for finding support groups. We suggest that parents start by looking at the MISS Foundation website. Founded in 1996 by Joanne Cacciatore, a stillbirth mother, the MISS website has grown to be one of the largest and most respected sites on the Internet. Joanne has also written a book, "Dear Cheyenne, A Journey Through Grief." It's an account of her first days, weeks and months following her daughter's death.
17) Should one talk about the baby with the parents? Most mothers want you to, but ask first to be certain they're ready. Asking permission allows the family to make the decision. If they do wish to talk, listen patiently and be empathic. If they're not ready to talk now, then be there when they are, and let them know you'll be ready to listen then.
18) What can one say to a mother who has suffered a stillbirth? "I am sorry," works. "I can't imagine what you are going through," is an appropriate and accurate response. Anything that validates what the family is experiencing is acceptable. What doesn't work is the panoply of platitudes one hears so often. Avoid, "It was meant to be." "You're young, you can have another." "Your baby is in a better place." "It's not like you had time to love him." If in doubt, its best to say nothing and just be there for them. Sometimes just to hold another's hand speaks volumes. A hug is good too.
19) Is it proper to send flowers? Once again the answer is a matter of personal choice. As an alternative way to express their sorrow some have chosen to make donations in the name of the baby to a stillbirth prevention cause. The Missing Angel Foundation is a frequent recipient of such donations and will list them on its website along with the name of the deceased child in whose memory the donation is made.
20) What is the Missing Angel Foundation? The Missing Angel Foundation is a 501.C.3 charitable organization that operates a memorial website for grieving parents who have suffered the loss of a child of any age from any cause. It supports The National Stillbirth Society and provides funding for our operations. In addition it provides grants to the MISS Foundation and similar organizations that provide compassionate grief support to stillbirth parents.
21) Who founded The National Stillbirth Society? The National Stillbirth Society was founded by Arizona resident Richard K. Olsen, a stillbirth father. It's a non-profit membership-based organization created to "educate and agitate" for stillbirth research and reform.
22) How can I Join The National Stillbirth Society? Membership is open to anyone who wants to enlist in the fight against stillbirth. Simply download, print and mail in the Membership Application available here as a pdf document with a $35 check for your first year's dues. (Sorry, we're not able to take credit cards online just yet.) When we receive your application we'll send you a Membership Card with our gift of a sliver "Missing Angel Pin". The pin is the emblem of our Society and is crafted especially for us by Mexican artisans. It's a $20 value and our gift to you for becoming a member. We encourage you to wear it as a symbol of your love and caring for all stillborn babies.
September 2008: Awesome progress in the news of future stillbirths:
Important Stillbirth News :The body of evidence is growing that fetal heartbeat monitoring is an effective tool in identifying signs of a potential stillbirth before it has a chance to occur. It is the next step up from Kick Counting and looks at the baby's heartbeat in cases where the potential for loss is above average, possibly due to an earlier stillbirth. (Go to our site, www.protectyourpregnancy.com, and click on the link in the last paragraph for a pamphlet explaining the procedure available on an experimental basis from The Pregnancy Institute.) Next go to http://www.nbc11.com/video/17479363/index.html# to see a newscast feature from NBC Channel 11 San Francisco. It is an interview with a stillbirth mother who, having lost a daughter a year ago, is using a home monitor to safeguard her current pregnancy. After testing she sends the results via the Internet to The Pregnancy Institute where they're reviewed. She is called if the printout suggest her baby is in any distress. For infomation you can email Dr. Jason Collins at haydel1@bellsouth.net. Richard K. OlsenFounder & Executive DirectorThe National Stillbirth Society www.stillnomore.org 602.216.6600
October 2008 Survey for parents of stillborn babies, please consider sharing your information if you would like to:
A research study about how parents cope with pregnancy and infant loss and the use of internet support sites. We understand that losing a pregnancy or baby can be an extremely stressful event, and are very sorry for your loss. We know it may be hard to think about filling out a research survey at this time, but we are trying to develop internet programs to help future parents. All of the information you provide is completely confidential.
Who is Doing the Study and What is it For? The study is conducted by researchers at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, Michigan in the United States. We are trying to understand women’s experiences with a pregnancy loss or loss of a baby and how women use on-line message boards after a loss. This will help us to design on-line programs to help parents cope with this difficult event. What are the Risks of Completing the Survey? The main risk to mothers is simply that remembering a loss can be emotionally difficult. To protect mothers who participate, this survey is confidential. In addition, this study, like all research studies, was reviewed and approved by the Institutional Review Board at the University of Michigan (HUM00023103). You may choose not to answer a question or may stop the survey at any point. Message board staff have given us permission to post this survey, but they will not see any of your individual answers. What are the Benefits? There are no direct benefits to you from completing the survey, but your responses will help us to develop programs for other parents who have similar losses in the future. It is estimated the survey will take about 10 minutes to complete. Can I Contact the Researcher or the University of Michigan if I have Concerns or Questions about the Study? Yes. You may email the Primary Investigator at ktgold@umich.edu (University of Michigan, Department of Family Medicine, Department of Obstetrics & Gynecology) or you may contact the University of Michigan Institutional Review Board at 734-763-4768.
July 2008 Announcement:
NEWS FLASH: CONGRATULATIONS!!
The MISS Foundation is pleased to announce that New Hampshire Governor John Lynch has signed the MISSing Angels Bill!
We thank our New Hampshire families who worked so diligently to pass the legislation, including forum member Jennifer Dubois, mother of TC and Representative Will Infantine who has been working with Dr. Joanne Cacciatore on this legislation for two years.
We applaud the efforts of everyone who supported this landmark NH legislation! And we applaud NH legislators for doing the right thing for NH women and their families!
The MISS Foundation
June 2008 New York petition for stillbirth/ Birth Certificates:
Reviews have appeared on Amazon.com, in KotaPress and A Journey Together, the newsletter of Bereaved Parents, USA. The book is featured on the web site of Alliance of Grandparents, A Support in Tragedy (AGAST). http://wwwagast.org
___________________________________________ Information needed from parents: PLease consider sharing your thoughts, experiences and opinions by taking a look at the following survey:
Hello,I am a nurse having worked 15 years in Labor and Delivery and now doctoralcandidate at West Virginia University. Would your website be willing to post the link to my survey about stillbirth interventions in the forum?Participation would assist me in learning more about what interventions were important to women at the time their baby died and what feelings theyexperienced then and currently. This research is intended to improve the care provided to women at thetime of stillbirth.The survey is online and will take about 30 minutes to complete. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to write or call me.For your review, the survey may be found at:
Parents: another April 2008 survey if you would like to participate:
Suzanne Pullen here. I'm wondering if you would be willing to participate in a study i am doing involving parents who have had a loss and/or forward this email and link to your list or post it on your website.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/nld As you may know, I am a bereaved parent who had a stillbirth three years ago. I am currently co-conducting a survey about medical bad news delivery and the communications between patients and care providers about their diagnosis. I am specifically hoping to reach parents who have had a stillbirth, neonatal death (death of a child within 28 days of birth) or a pregnancy loss. We are hoping to learn more about this kind of communication and offer insights to care-providers about the effects of these interactions. Data collected from this confidential survey will be used for completion of a course project in the master’s program at San Francisco State University. The survey is confidential and should take approximately 25 minutes to complete. If you have any questions, I would be happy to answer them. I can be reached by email at spullen@sfsu.edu. I also have hard copies of the surveys and if you send me an email with the street address, I would be happy to mail them to you. I send my sincere thanks for considering helping get the word out about this study, Suzanne Pullenspullen@sfsu.eduwww.surveymonkey.com/nldMore about my story at:www.sfgate.com/pregnancyafterloss
__________________________________
2007 Stillbirth Advocacy and Support Symposium Meeting brings together researchers and parents
On October 22-23, 2007, First Candle convened its inaugural Stillbirth Support and Advocacy Symposium in Washington DC. It was the goal of the Symposium to call attention to and advocate for advances in developing preventive strategies for stillbirth, which claims the lives of 70 babies every day, or 26,000 annually, in our country. Set to coincide with a meeting of NICHD’s Stillbirth Collaborate Research Network (SCRN), select stillbirth parents and others were given the opportunity to hear from leading stillbirth researchers and meet with representatives on Capitol Hill.
The agenda included a one-day meeting with presentations from NICHD and CDC, as well as a leading expert on counting kicks as a preventive strategy and a an author/expert in the arena of bereavement support. Researchers and parents alike came together for a cocktail reception and networking dinner featuring the music and lyrics of stillbirth parent Naomi Arnold and the words of author and stillbirth parent Suzanne Pullen.
For the second day of the Symposium, meetings were scheduled with each participant’s congressional representatives on Capitol Hill. Personal stories were shared, as well as an agenda for priorities for addressing important issues related to stillbirth and sudden infant deaths moving forward.
The event was a huge success, and we are pleased to share with you the agenda, materials and presentations provided to participants at this important event.
Symposium Agenda Presentation by Dr. Donald Dudley, SCRN Presentation by Dr. Diep Nguyen, BabyKick Alliance Presentation by Dr. Wes Duke, CDC Public Policy Executive Summary Congressional Caucus for Infant Health and Safety Tips for a Successful Hill Visit Stillbirth Q & A Stillbirth FACT Sheet Naomi Arnold Bio Lyrics to Not Again, by Naomi Arnold Calling all Angels, by Suzanne Pullen Hope with a Heartbeat, by Suzanne Pullen Say their Names, poem by Don Hackett
To be added to the First Candle mailing list for stillbirth initiatives, click here.
www.firstcandle.org For more information call 1-800-221-7437 (410-653-8226). Bilingual Crisis Counselors Available 24 Hours a Day
for chloe / Ginger Giacomazzo (chloe liedtke's aunt ) I would've fought the largest beast to keep you here with me.I would've climbed a mountain and swam the deepest sea.I would've walked a bed of thorns with a smile on my face. I would've taken anything,never giving up the chase.I would've said I love you a million times and more.But I whisper this to God upstairs for you through His door.All of us have roads in life that we each must take,our road is just a little bend,our road will never break. written for Chloe 88 by her aunt ginger giacomazzo.
www.firstcandle.org For more information call 1-800-221-7437 (410-653-8226). Bilingual Crisis Counselors Available 24 Hours a Day _____________________________________________ An Unfinished Mother Written by Clara Hinton | Mar 14, 2004 When child loss occurs, a mother goes through a difficult time of emotional turmoil and questioning. “Am I still a mother?” “Does my child still have a birthday each year, or does time stand still?” “Can the mother/child relationship continue to grow, or am I now an ‘unfinished mother’?”
Losing a child places a mother on a road that begins a lonelier journey than ever expected—one that can never really be explained. There was a beginning, but with the death of the child, there is no middle and no end. Everything seems so unfinished. Hopes and dreams were stopped far too soon. Joy was snatched away so suddenly. A mother is left with empty arms and an empty heart. Nothing can ever be complete when a child’s life ends.
When the death of a child occurs, a mother is stopped in her tracks, and she suddenly feels inadequate and incomplete. She wears a new name. She is an “unfinished mother”, never being able to see the rest of the picture. She will never be able to watch her child mature into a young adult. She will never be able to see all the pieces fit together. The picture will always have part of the scenery missing. It is so painful to be an unfinished mother! Child loss makes everything seem so empty and incomplete.
The reality of child loss is devastating to a mother. There are overwhelming feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and most often feelings of failure. These feelings can overwhelm a mother for several months following the death of a child, and it can be quite difficult to build a support system to carry a mother through this roller coaster of emotions. Very few people will understand a mother’s explanation of feeling like she is an unfinished mother.
There will come a critical point in this journey of grief when a mother must reach deep inside her inner resources and make a conscious decision to accept herself just as she is—a mother whose heart has been touched by the pain and grief of child loss. Only then can she start to put together some of the broken pieces and begin to feel like there will be a day when she will feel more like a complete mother than an unfinished mother.
When a child dies, life is suddenly thrown completely off balance. A mother is left feeling like her identity has been taken away. It is often a long difficult journey to find that place of identity as a mother again. It’s hard to understand that there is unfinished living that will never be completed. Peace can finally come to a mother’s heart when she realizes that there is a big difference between having unfinished business and being left feeling like an unfinished mother.
A mother is never “unfinished.” No matter how brief her time was with her child, the bond of love between mother and child was complete. A mother’s love for her child is unending. Dreams may shatter and circumstances may change, but a mother’s love remains strong. As a mother travels the path to healing, it is important for her to remind herself often that she is a mother forever. Her motherhood did not stop when her child died. This understanding of motherhood releases the feelings of guilt and failure and allows a mother to begin to see herself as a whole person again—a complete mother.
A mother is never an “unfinished mother.” A mother’s love runs far too deep to ever be called unfinished!
________________________ ANNOUNCEMENT MAY 2007:
The Missing Angel Foundation, a "sister" organization of the The National Stillbirth Society, maintains an online registry to which parents may submit their stillborn baby's name, date of birth, photgraph and a link to a website if you have one for your baby.
THERE'S NO CHARGE FOR THIS SERVICE. IT'S SUPPORTED BY FUNDS DONATED BY MEMBERS AND RAISED FROM VARIOUS SOURCES, SUCH AS THE I-GIVE PROGRAM.
Many you may already have posted your baby. If you haven't you may do so anytime at www.missingangel.org.
Richard K. Olsen, Founder National Stillbirth Society 602-216-6600 nss@cox.net
To post a photo of your child, simply click on "Photo Album" and follow the instructions.
please light a candle in honor of All Stillborn Angels, it is deeply appreciated by their families. Thank you! you can also visit us by scrolling down to the slideshow or clicking on photo album. Please feel free to scroll down to visit the resource section, may it provide comfort!
There was a meeting up in heaven And the angels gathered round. God spoke, “They will soon be coming, Let the trumpets sound.”
Make way for My tiniest angels, "God said, "For they are almost here” Watch over them; I must go now And help dry their mother's tears"
And so God went to His special place To hear the mother's pray, Tears fell from His eyes as He listened To what they had to say.
The prayers were very different Yet seemed to blend into one. "You have my tiny angel, God But my crying has just begun."
"I'm human and I’m weak, God and I don't know what to do; I need Your love and strength, And Your help to get me through.”
”Please allow me one more thing Before I say "Amen" and go, I need to speak to my babies now, So my love they will always know.”
God gathered the tiniest angels, In His arms so they could hear. Their earthly mothers speaking from their hearts, And through their tears.
From Gods eyes as well as the angel's, Tears began to leak, And the trumpets sounded in Heaven, As the mothers began to speak.
"I can't hold you… I can't see you, Or count your fingers and toe's. Nor wrap you in a blanket, And kiss your little nose.”
”I'll never feel your heartbeat, As you lie against my chest. But to question would be wrong, For God always knows best.”
”I'll never hear, "I love you" Or "mommy read to me" It hurts so much to want you, Knowing you weren't meant to be.”
”Although you were taken from me, You will always feel my love. I know God will allow that In His kingdom up above.”
”Don't be afraid my little one's, For you are in a special place. And don't worry about me, God will dry the tears upon my face.”
”He needed more tiny angels, But we are never far apart. You're not in my arms... my little ones, But you're forever in my heart.”
Then God spoke to His tiny angels And dried each little tear. "You're mother isn't with us now, But soon she will be here.”
”And when you reunite with her For all of Heaven to see, She will hold you close and love you Throughout eternity".
My Wish / Jennifer Peters (TJ's mommy ) MY WISH - author unknown
If I could have a lifetime wish A dream that would come true. I'd pray to God with all my heart for yesterday and you. A thousand words can't bring you back, I know because I have tried. And neither will a million tears I know because I have cried. You left behind my broken heart and happy memories too. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you.
The Harps They Are A Calling
Our Angels are a coming I hear them, they are near The sounds of there music Is magic to my ear.
There music is a melody That will not surpass Cause the harps that they use Are made of fragile glass.
Cause if the harps Were to ever break That would mean we would no longer hear That special music, that they whisper in my ear.
The harps they are a singing So loud, it is clear I love that sound a ringing in my ear Cause it brings our Angels oh so near.
Copy written: Ms Cheryle-Anne Finn 16th July 2005 Australia
Still
The littlest angels that Heaven holds Were beckoned by God's will As emptiness in our soul unfolds In our hearts we love them still.
Guardian angels hold them tight As the angel choir sings. Rocking them gently into the night Enveloped in their wings.
They may be in the house of the Lord But our child they'll always be. For still there is the family cord And it's there for eternity.
The day will come when you and I Will walk on Heaven's hill. Together we'll be hand in hand Loving each other still. Beautifully written for our stillborn angels by Dianne and used with her permission. http://www.jeanneshouseofangels.com/
My Kayla
IM SORRY MY KAYLA FOR NOT KEEPING U SAFE, IN MY WOMB WAS MENT TO BE A PEACEFUL PLACE. THIS IS WHAT I REALLY CANT BARE, DISCOMFORT AND DEATH IS WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE. MY DREAMS FOR YOU WERE SHATTERED THAT DAY, THE DAY HE DECIDED TO TAKE YOU AWAY. I REALLY DONT THINK I COULD EVER FORGIVE, "WHY GOD PLEASE EXPLAIN, WAS IT SOMETHING I DID?" IM A GOOD MUM I LIVE FOR MY KIDS, BUT WHY, I ASK I DID NOT DESERVE THIS. KAYLA MY DEAR UR THE ANGEL I MISS, FOR YOU TO BE HOME IS MY ONLY TRUE WISH. U'D BE SO HAPPY HERE WITH MUMMY AND DAD, UR BIG SISTER LIANA WOULD OF BEEN THE BEST THAT U HAD. I'LL NEVER FORGET UR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE FACE, EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, SO PERFECT IN PLACE. U WERE MY LITTLE GIRL SO PRETTY IN PINK, THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS AROUND I THINK. LIANA ASKS WHERE R U EVERYDAY, "IN HEAVEN FOREVER, AND THATS WERE SHE'LL STAY. "I LOVE HER MUMMY, I LOVE HER SO MUCH", "I WISH I HAD JUST ONE SINGLE TOUCH". I CANT HANDLE THIS THERE IS TOO MUCH PAIN, I'LL COUNT DOWN THE DAYS TILL WERE TOGETHER AGAIN. KEEP SHINING UR STAR THAT WILL SHINE EVERY NIGHT, AND I NO IN TIME I JUST MIGHT BE ALL RIGHT. KAYLA MY ANGEL PLEASE HELP US GET STRONG, UR LOVE IS WHAT WE NEED TO PUSH US ALONG. THE NINE MONTHS WE SHARED WHEN IT WAS JUST U AND ME, I'LL CHERISH FOREVER AND ALL OF ETERNITY. THE DAY WILL COME I PROMISE U THIS, WE'LL SHARE TOGETHER OUR FIRST ANGEL KISS. WE'LL DO MOTHER AND DAUGHTER THINGS ALL DAY LONG, AND BACK WITH UR MUMMY IS WERE U BELONG. I LOVE U MY KAYLA DONT EVER FORGET, REST IN PEACE MY BABY, MY LITTLE PRINCESS.
Written by Jeda Symonds-Poynton- Kaylas mummy on 11/1/07
A Dad's grief / Martine Rossen (Mum to Jack ) A DAD'S GRIEF
It must be very difficult to be a man in grief since men don't cry and men are strong no tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult to stand up to the test and take the calls and visitors so she can get some rest
They always ask if she's all right and what she's going through but seldom take his hand and ask "My friend, but how are you?"
He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break he dries her tears and comforts her but stays strong for her sake
It must be very difficult to start each day anew and try to be so very brave He lost his baby too.
-Anonymous-
wonderful Resources of Comfort:
Your baby has died. What can you do? Talk about it. Help it become a natural part of life that others can see and begin to understand. When you are strong enough, be prepared to share a few thoughts on how your community of family and friends can be supportive.
Be a parent. Say your child's name, create more memories and mementos, share his or her pictures if you have them. And most importantly, remember that you are the parent of this child and you always will be.
Involve other children. They will learn from you how life and death work. This is a difficult but special time to let them know that you all will survive, but it won't be easy. A beloved child will always be a part of the family, though he or she has died. Help your other children find ways (puppets, drawing, music, talking, reading books) to express their feelings.
Believe in each other and tomorrow. Stay close to your partner, even if you are grieving differently (a most common thing). Keep talking and telling each other what you need and then respect the differences that will arise. Believe your relationship can get better—it can, if you work at it and have a positive attitude. Choose to believe the best of what you say and do for each other, rather than the worst. Have hope that the sun will shine again someday; your days won't be all so bleak. BUT they must be for a while because, after all, when you love someone so much of course he or she will be missed and you will hurt. That is a sign of your love. It is necessary for you to mourn your child in order to heal and see new possibilities. Believe you can make it. Many, many, many others have survived and grown over time despite wondering if they could or should. You can make it. Watch for the rainbow moments and appreciate them when they come. Believe in tomorrow. Believe in possibilities, if even for a few seconds or minutes in the early days and weeks.
________________________________________
Candy McVicar Founder and Executive Director, Missing GRACE Foundation Grieve * Restore * Arise * Commemorate * Educate Email Candy@missinggrace.org Web http://www.MissingGRACE.org Office 763-497-0709 _______________________________________________
MOMStudy The goal of the Maternal Observations and Memories of Stillbirth (MOMS) study is to collect data that will help researchers, medical professionals, and women better understand all kinds of stillbirths and how to prevent them. This data also will provide those in the helping and counseling professions with insights on offering compassionate support to stillbirth families. Many researchers believe that most of the four million stillbirths women experience worldwide every year do not have to happen. Dealing with Stillbirth is a tremendous challenge, MOMStudy is a great resource for help. www.missfoundation.org
Nationwide “Missing Angels Bill” Petition (authored by John Nevels, II) Those members or individuals looking to get Missing Angels Bills enacted in their states are encouraged to refer to this petition in corresponding with State Representatives, Senators, and Assembly persons. www.missingangelsbill.org
National Stillbirth Society is fighting to stamp out S.A.D.S. – because all of our children matter. The mission of the parent-led National Stillbirth Society is to "educate and agitate" for greater stillbirth awareness, research and reform. Dealing with Stillbirth and its tremendous implications to parents is the Society's overreaching goal. www.stillnomore.org
On earth we don’t understand Why babies have to die Their little lives are taken And our painful cry is “Why?”
As we endure the pains of life No other pain compares A parent weeping for a child Just briefly it was theirs
For reasons we don’t understand Their little lives are taken And we cry out to God above “Why must I be forsaken?”
The little one did nothing wrong Their lives had yet to begin How could the Lord allow this thing? If he’s the Holy One?
I held my stillborn daughter in my arms Tears running down my face My baby never had a chance Her life was just a trace
I got to hold her briefly And my heart was breaking so This little girl, I held so tight I’d never get to know
As I held my little girl With pain I could not bear I felt a presence in the room I knew someone was there
With earthly eyes, I tried to see Through the pain and bitterness And wanted so to scream at God For cheating me like this
Then I felt a warming glow As it surrounded me And then, I heard an Angel whisper “What must be, will be.”
“God knows your suffering and your pain But, you must understand Everything that God allows Is for his final plan.”
“You only see the earthly things And some will cause you pain.” “But be assured, your daughter is safe, And you’ll see her again.”
“This life is temporary Everybody’s going to die.” “I know that you can’t understand And want to question, why?”
“God has sent his Angels And we came to comfort you.” “We ask you to share this message With other Mothers too.”
“Many Mothers lose their children Before they are born.” “The Angels know their pain and grief And feel it when they mourn.”
“But one thing Angels know That Mothers do not understand One day the Mothers once again Will hold their child's hand.”
“They’ll hold them in their arms And they will say their precious name And on that day they’ll understand Why they went through the pain.”
“There is a plan in Heaven And one day you’ll celebrate Because your little one is waiting Just beyond the gate.”
~ Author Unknown ~
"We'll remember forever."
We come together, a gathering of parents, mourners To honour our children, our loves For whether your life here was a moment, hours or years We remember – and forever You live In our hearts In heaven Angels Guardians Shaping our thoughts and our lives.
We come together, because forever we’ll remember Your preciousness, beauty and love. To acknowledge your lives Your importance Our child Your legacy Gift and grace. For had we had a lifetime We’d love just the same We remember forever as we come together today.
Silent prayers, thoughts or tears - we release Our hearts broken in pain Pausing now for a moment Uninterrupted -to express Those things society would like best left unsaid.
Towards the heavens our balloons rise Higher higher they fly Like butterfly messengers And Rainbows promise of gold As we say our goodbyes - again
We’ll come together forever, and remember.
Copyright Maria Zollo 2006 All rights reserved.
Angel stars, Angel Stars.
Angel stars, angel stars, Please don’t wonder where we are. We are angels called to love, From the heavens up above. Angel stars, angel stars, We are angels, angel stars.
Angel stars shining bright, Making all the darkness light. Angel stars twinkling high, Sparkling diamonds in the sky. Angel stars, angel stars, Amazing angels, angel stars.
When the warming sun is set, And your face with tears is wet, We guide you with our blazing light, Twinkling in your dreams at night. Angel stars, angel stars, We are angels, angel stars.
Angel stars, angel stars, Jesus cradles us in his arms; In the heavens, full of love, Singing with the choir above. Angel stars, angel stars, Amazing angels, angel stars.
Angel stars, angel stars, We are angels, angel stars. Our dear mummy’s, how they miss us So we blow our angel kisses. We stay close, we’ll never part, Forever held in their hearts.
Maria Zollo August 2006
Our Angels, Our Babies You have been where I have been We have walked a similar path. The road has not been easy. We have felt the sorrow of valleys so deep, and the satisfaction of conquering the highest mountain. We have stood broken and battered from our pain, but we continue to go on and survive. There will be new mommies and daddies who will join us, they too will have to walk this journey called grief. We will support and comfort them, Laugh and cry with them. They to will conquer the mountain and survive. We have a bond that others who haven't felt this pain, would or could understand. We are Mommies and Daddies brought together by Angels. Our Angels, Our Babies. Babies who have taught us about love, and have shown us our heart. We will never be the same again, who could be. To experience the death of a child, and not change. That would mean we are unloving and unfeeling, I know that we are more of both. Written by Lori Ayrault Copyright @9/18/98 Used With Permission From Sharon, Siobhan's Mommy
Tribute to Keena and Killian / Johnny Ramey (Great Uncle )
We are harnessed with time still, and the days go by some slow and others almost before we know it. Some day soon we will be in the timeless place where we can sit and talk to the Lord and Killian without ever worrying about how much time we have left in the day. But for now we mark these days as they go by and ever look forward to seeing Killian and all our loved ones who have passed us by in the race of life. And just like theirs, our finish line will be crowded with onlookers and applauders who have awaited our crossing. The refreshment of Eternal life and the a Crown of Victory awaits us as they offer words of encouragement, "Come on! You can make it! just keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll be here. Love ya, Uncle Johnny
No matter how our angels enter this world they will always be precious to their mammys and daddys. in the clouds they play together full of happiness and joy on earth mammys and daddys ache and full of sadness. how we miss our babys so much no one can take the pian for us no one can make it better. some of us stonger some of us weaker the one thing in common with all aof us is our angels, our angels in the the clouds. some of our angles sleep onthe clouds others on the star some even sleep on the moon but best of all they all shine on us
lots of love sarah and alan www.paige-leigh.memory-of.com sending hundreds and hundreds of angels kisses and hugs to all of our babys each and everyone of them catching at least one as they fly by.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING YOUR 1MTH OLD / Kelly-ann Buick (Latisha's Mummy ) HAPPY BIRTHDAY darling your a month old today. A month ago you came into this world the happiness but sadest day of our lifes. We had so many plans for you and for your life but God had better ones he needed a strong loving girl to be up in heaven with him to look after all the other angel babies up there and to watch and protect all your love ones we love you so much darling hope you had a good day. Love always your Mummy and Daddy xxxoxoxoxxoxo
i,ll be there / Cheryl Cannon (harlei jr cannon ) I'll be there
Daddy please don’t look so sad, mummy please don’t cry. Cause I’m in the arms of Jesus and he sings me lullabies. please, try not to question god, don’t think he is unkind. don’t think he sent me to you, and then he changed his mind.
You see i am a special child, and im needed up above. im the special gift you gave to him, im a product of your love. I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night. just find the brightest gleeming star, thats my halo shining light.
you'll see me in the morning frost, that mists your window pane. thats me in all the summer showers, dancing in the rain. when you feel a little breeze, from a gentle wind that blows. thats me, i'll be there, planting kisses on your nose. when you see a child thats playing and your heart feels a tug. thats me, i'll be there giving your heart a hug. so daddy please dont look so sad, and mummy please dont cry. I'm in the arms of Jesus, and he sings me lullabies. god keep our precious angels safe and warm, wrapped in your love.
Your due date has finally arrived, we should all be celebrating now but fate somehow stopped the celebrations when you were taken from us 14 weeks ago. You will always be our little girl and me and your Daddy just wanted to tell you how much we love and think of you and miss you everyday. Sleep sweetly Hannah until one day me and your Daddy will hold you in our arms once more.
God Bless.
All our love, Mummy and Daddy.xxxxx.
Somewhere over the rainbow Way up high There are angels we dream of Singing lullabys
Somewhere over the rainbow Dreams come true Where the angels are singing Just for you
Each night we wish upon a star To wake up where the rainbows are Beside us
Where every tear is wiped away And angels dance and sing and play That’s where you’ll find us
Somewhere at the end of a rainbow At Jesus’ side Angels’ hearts are connecting Your love and ours
Somewhere at the end of a rainbow Our dream is true We’ve found the Pot of Gold And babies it‘s you!
If happy little angels fly With hearts of love for you and I Then why do we still cry?
Copyright Maria Zollo 2006 All rights reserved.
To post a photo, simply click on "Photo Album" and follow the instructions.
To leave your condolences or pay tribute to your own little angel, click on "Tributes & Condolences" and follow the instructions.
To light a candle of hope and remembrance, click on "Memorial Candles" and follow the instructions.
To create a personalized Memorial Website for someone you have loved and lost, simply click here www.memory-of.com
A POEM I WROTE 4 MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER-mummy loves u so much!!!! / Jeda Mummy 2. Angel Kayla
My Kayla IM SORRY MY KAYLA FOR NOT KEEPING U SAFE, IN MY WOMB WAS MENT TO BE A PEACEFUL PLACE. THIS IS WHAT I REALLY CANT BARE, DISCOMFORT AND DEATH IS WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE. MY DREAMS FOR YOU WERE SHATTERED THAT DAY, THE DAY HE DECIDED TO TAKE YOU ...
Continue >>
In loving memory of Javon born sleeping on 22nd August 2006 / Sharon Nelder (nanny)
What do you say to your daughter when she has just given birth to a stillborn baby. I knew I had to be strong and symphathetic at the same time. He was so beautiful and I almost expected him to cry so I could pick him up and cuddle him.Why us! why my...
Continue >>
In memory of / Martine Rossen (Mother)
In loving memory of our little boy Jack Rossen stillborn at 18 wks & 3 days on 30 January 2007. Always in our hearts. Love mummy, daddy and Danielle xxx
A prayer for our angels and their families. / Maria Angel Mum To Amore, Cara, Teressa &. Pieta ZolloSemmler
Blessings, Maria. xxxxxxxx
For all our Angel babies and their families. / Maria Angel Mum To Amore, Cara, Teressa &. Pieta ZolloSemmler
For Daddy - His Plaque / Lyndsey Mummy To (^i^ Alice Crowder & Twins )Read >>
For Our Twins - There Plaque - 2 Hearts (Mummy & Daddy Are Getting Tattoos for You Both, Like Your Big Sister) / Lyndsey &. Nic Mummy &. Daddy To (^i^ Alice Crowder & Twins )Read >>
Beyond The Gate / Lyndsey Mummy To ^i^ (Alice Crowder & Twins )Read >>
I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful babies / Amie Rossiter Read >>
I'm very sorry for your loss... and I feel your pain / Tanikka Babb Read >>
My angels Amore, Cara, Teressa & Pieta. / Maria Angel Mum To Amore, Cara, Teressa &. Pieta ZolloSemmler Read >>
Legacy…Something that continues from a previous time! All around us…the world questions the existence of our children…All around us the world wonders how a baby born sleeping can leave a legacy when they never even took a first breath here on this earth? All around us…the world is too cowardly too ask, though we mothers have the answer. (by Killians Mommy, Keena)
Please read the following quotes from the broken hearted yet very proud mothers of our Stillborn Angels:
I wish I could have known you / Cindy Outlaw (Wayne & Buck's Mama ) To my sweet baby boys that I never really got to know... Many tears has your Mama cried over these years for both of you my boys. When I lost you at birth a big part of my heart went with you. I remember how excited your Daddy and I were when we found out we were going to have twins. Just the thought of it was wonderful. We couldn't wait. Wayne, you were the oldest and we were naming you Billy after Daddy's Dad and Wayne after a good friend of ours. Buck you were the little brother (sorry) and you were named Charles after my Dad and Buck after your Daddy's uncle. We were going to call you Wayne & Buck. When I had you too early and we lost you we were so completely broken. We had no one in our life at that time that understood just how much heartache your Daddy and I were suffering. People thought we should just get over it and move on with our lives. We didn't and will never get over it. So many times we have wondered what you both would look like, what your personalities would be like, just everything. I'm sure you would look a lot like B.J. and the girls because all of them favor each other so much. You can for sure tell they are brothers and sisters. On Dec. 1, 2003 you finally got to meet your big brother B.J. He's awesome isn't he? Is he taking good care of you there in Heaven? I know without having to ask that he is because he was so good at taking care of all of us here. Tell him we love him and we miss him too. You boys behave yourself and know that Mama is so looking forward to the day that we all get to be together forever. I love you both so much! Love, Mama
Zack Twardowski's Mommy... www.zackary-twardowski.memory-of.com "Grief can cause us to relate differently to God, ourselves, and others. We may look the same, but we are forever changed and must learn to communicate and connect in new ways. We speak a new tongue: the language of loss." Kathe Wunnenberg
Lyndsey, Mommy to Alice, and baby Crowder twins For Daddy - His Plaque / Lyndsey Mummy To (^i^ Alice Crowder & Twins ) www.alice-crowder.memory-of.com
I have a little daughter, who means the world to me She's living with the Angels and is as special as can be And even though she's up there, playing in the clouds She's still my precious daughter and I am so very proud Her picture takes pride of place on my living room wall Ready to be admired by all who come to call I know I can not hold her, or bounce her on my knee But I only have to close my eyes, her little face to see I never will stop missing her and wishing she were here But sometimes I feel, indeed I know that she is very near So play happily my little daughter, you will never be forgot I love you so and always will, though I miss you such a lot .
Thankyou Again -
http://stores.ebay.co.uk/The-Kitten-Coven Close
For Our Twins - There Plaque - 2 Hearts (Mummy & Daddy Are Getting Tattoos for You Both, Like Your Big Sister) / Lyndsey &. Nic Mummy &. Daddy To (^i^ Alice Crowder & Twins ) They say memories are golden, well maybe that is true. I never wanted memories, I only wanted you. A million times I needed you, a million times I cried. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. In life I loved you dearly, in death I love you still. In my heart you hold a place no one could ever fill. If tears could build a stairway and heartache make a lane, I'd walk the path to heaven and bring you back again. Our family chain is broken, and nothing seems the same. But as we are called one by one, the chain will link again
"I am proud and in awe of all of my children. They are an immeasurable gift and blessing to me. Divinely created & the epitome of love in action, a beautiful thing to behold. I am immensely grateful to be made aware of the spiritual significance of beauty through them. Beauty and the Divine are synonymous.
To me all our children are a reminder of our Created Love : a symbol of hope - an eternal, unconditional, everlasting gift."
Maria Zollo Angel mum to Amore, Cara, Teressa, Pieta and earth mother to Tiani, Mikari & Jesse ZolloSemmler.
Destynee Murray’s mommy… www.destynee-murray.memory-of.com see my baby, I had no fear, I had a Mothers eyes and a Mothers broken heart. She was perfect, she was mine and she was so loved and so beautiful”. She had a “destiny” we didn’t even know about! Caitlynn Hensons mommy… www.caitlynn-henson.memory-of.com
Sunshine, the song I sang to her all the time while she was in my tummy. She was so beautiful, she will never be forgotten and always Loved”. Lauryn Deo’s Mommy…. important you are to me for now & for always, I love you so much and so deeply, until we are together again, I love you my Beautiful, darling angel Lauryn Rae”. Jessica Szdelko’s mommy… www.jessica-szdelko.memory-of.com
butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam, and for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world: but then it flies again, and though we wish it could have stayed, we feel so lucky to have seen it”. Daphne Tindall’s mommy… www.daphne-tindall.memory-of.com
”just like that my little Love Bug, who was alive and well inside of me only moments earlier was already in Heaven. I will never forget you & I long for the day we meet again, please know how very much I love You and Miss you”. Jack Cameron’s mommy… “We held you all night, he had his big sisters little nose and he was our precious angel. We named you Jack Brock Cameron after your grandfather. You will live forever in our hearts little man, we love you”. Lucas Jackson's mommy..... www.lucas-jackson.memory-of.com He blessed us with a love that only a parent can know. A love so deep that it is impossible to imagine it's strength. He blessed us before, and he will continue to give us blessings. We only have to believe. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU BUNCHES AND MORE>... Lucas' Mommy John Cavote’s mommy… www.john-cavote.memory-of.com ”Some say he was a fetus, but I will tell you John Thomas’ life meant more than anyone could imagine. He was a baby all right and no one can tell me different. He was and will always be our son. He taught me not to take things for granted, not to complain about little things. He taught my husband to love deeper. He taught both of us about how precious life really is. This in turn taught us GOD!”
These are only a few loving words from broken hearted mothers who have discovered Love, Compassion, Unspeakable joy and Unspeakable pain. This is a lifetime Legacy that our Angels will leave…they were born still, but…......STILL BORN!
Tributes and Condolences
Add to favorites 
